Men & Relationships

Men—a misunderstood species.

If you’ve found yourself here, I’m guessing you are in one of two scenarios.

• Someone in your life (likely your wife) told you either directly or indirectly to “get some therapy.”
• Or, you’ve thought about therapy for a while.

Therapy is everywhere these days. Everyone is talking about their therapist. Ten years ago you might have thought, “What for? I don’t need that.”

But the years have taken their toll.

The Weight You’re Carrying

Work. Marriage. Kids. Responsibilities.

It’s everything you’ve worked to build, but you didn’t realize how much it would take to maintain—or how much of you it would wear down.

Maybe you’re on the other side of that season, reflecting on what you could have done differently—wanting stronger relationships with your adult children, or with your spouse now that the nest is empty.

For many men, comfort with emotions and introspection is low. You’ve been taught to keep it inside:

You don’t go to other people with problems unless you need tangible help—lifting some furniture, holding a flashlight, diagnosing an engine light, and so on and so forth.

But when it comes to feeling burdened by family life,

Or inadequate at work,

Or not good enough for your family despite your efforts,

THOSE conversations stay inside.

And when those thoughts creep up from your heart into your mind, you don’t listen for very long before you find the next thing to do. It hurts too much to think about for too long.

One of the most tragic stories of mankind, in my opinion, is the way we’ve dismissed men’s emotional world.

We’ve tasked you with being the provider and protector of your families but not given you the emotional support that it requires.

We’ve limited your acceptable emotions to anger, happiness, or being “chill” — and handed you a limited toolbox to work with: stonewall, fight, or distract.

Many men cope with distraction, work, hobbies, or substances. These provide relief for a moment but often carry hidden costs.

Your loved ones want to connect with you — but you were never shown how. Maybe you’ve tried to open up, but it backfired: you were dismissed, misunderstood, or it made things worse.

Will It (You) Ever Be Enough?

You would do anything for your family. It’s a drive you feel in your bones.

You go to work.

You mow the lawn.

You even help out with the kids and are starting to do more chores around the house.

It just doesn’t seem to be enough.

Will it ever be enough?

Will YOU ever be enough?

Let’s redefine “man enough” together.

Everything we’ve been taught about manhood is distorted — like a funhouse mirror. You know who you are, but the reflection doesn’t look right.

Yes, men are assertive and strong — but manhood isn’t about overpowering others.
Yes, men are confident and goal-oriented — but it’s not about dismissing others.
Yes, men are stable and focused — but it’s not about rigid expectations.

These qualities are beautiful qualities. YOU are not the problem.

The problem is how these qualities have been twisted into narrow extremes that leave men — and their loved ones — trapped.

Here’s another problem—this is not all that you are.

Men also have the capacity to nurture, to be generous, to be collaborative and flexible. When you embrace the best parts of masculinity alongside qualities traditionally labeled “feminine,” you become an electrifying, positive force for your family.

The Elephant in the room— I’m Not a Man.

You are right. I am not a man. I do not share that lived experience.

But at my core, I’m relational. My work as a therapist is defined by understanding people’s unique experiences.I may not walk in your exact shoes, but I do know what it’s like to:

• Feel responsible for others.

• Feel misunderstood.

• Feel not good enough despite your best efforts.

• Carry the weight of generations before you.

These are common themes I hear from men in my practice — and the men I love.

Why Men Often Like Therapy More Than They Expected

I didn’t set out to specialize in men’s issues — but here we are. And what I’ve learned is that most men feel relief in therapy.

They finally get what they’ve been deprived of for so long: real, genuine human connection. To be seen. To be heard.

Once that happens, men start to figure out what’s been missing and how it’s affected their relationships.

Learning Emotional Skill is Like Learning to Ride a Bike

It’s easier when you start young. The falls don’t hurt as much. But it’s not impossible to learn as an adult.

There’s balance and correction, movement and coasting.
Sometimes you hold space; sometimes you are held.
Sometimes you lean in; sometimes you stand firm.

Let me walk alongside you as you learn. At first, I’ll hold your seat. When you’re ready, I’ll let go.

Reach out today at (715) 725-0820 so you can be the man you’ve always wanted to be.